july 26, 2009

i cannot WAIT to purell my hands once i get off this stank ass bus (which contains crusty white-dude-dreads, two-day-old chinese food, general sweatiness/lack of showering, etc.). dear goddddddd.

july 23, 2009

i just fought with a dude who refused to move his backpack from the only empty seat on the bus. i guess holding his backpack impeded his making shitty origami cranes.

then i watched a woman fight with a dude about stepping on her foot. except he wasn't at all. (???) perhaps she has phantom size 10 feet? that frequently get stepped on? i dunno.

and don't EVEN get me started on the woman on the bart train this morning, who passive-aggressively asked me, "since when did bart start letting people bring coffee on the train? hmmmmmmm????"

i totally give up on public transportation today.

july 22, 2009

did you know that pups are allowed on the bus as long as they pay their own fare? true story. (i think this one's cute.)

july 13, 2009

on the way to the movies tonight, i plopped down in the only open seat and immediately noticed the distinct smell of comet. to be honest, i found it kind of pleasing as it was a hell of a lot nicer than some of the usual bus smells and it made me happy that my bus had recently gotten a scrub.

then, on the way back home, i found myself seated beside the same woman i sat next to on my inbound trip. she was quite lovely in her seafoam 50s dress and pearl barrettes. and then it happened--my nose tingled with the brisk scent of comet. it was totally the lady next to me! wearing ode de comet!! i hoped that we could become fast friends, but i was too shy to strike up a conversation with the line, "i like that you smell like a disinfectant cleanser with bleach." next time???

july 13, 2009

bus song courtesy of the girl who reeks of whisky sitting behind me:

"and even though i'm at the top
i keep on climbinggg
but when the drugs are done
i'll feel like dyingggg
(nonsensical muttering)
anybody else on the bus feel like that?"

(crickets)

nope.

july 4, 2009

DANCE PARTY ON THE BUS!!!!!!!!!!!!

the self-appointed matriarch of the bus gots MOVES!