february 4, 2007
when i took the bus yesterday, i noticed these two women waiting who were all gussied up and about to go clubbing. one had a skirt that was approximately 3 inches. totally ridic. when they got on the bus, they both walked by and i realized that one was about 7 months pregnant. swear to god. and she had on 4 inch stiletto heeled boots. my jaw hit the floor. it was amazing.
december 18, 2006
friend of bruns: OH, i took a brooklyn bus this weekend!
bruns: oh, give me a clue. i bet i can guess
friend: it runs east-west from around downtown bklyn towards crown heights
bruns: hmm, could be the b71 or the b65
friend: yes! B65! you're so good at this game...
bruns: the bergen bus! b71 is the union bus
friend: yes miss
bruns: oh, give me a clue. i bet i can guess
friend: it runs east-west from around downtown bklyn towards crown heights
bruns: hmm, could be the b71 or the b65
friend: yes! B65! you're so good at this game...
bruns: the bergen bus! b71 is the union bus
friend: yes miss
december 12, 2006
as much as i love brooklyn buses, i'm so much happier not having to take one every single morning. so miserable. except when i ran into nick kroll. and i used to always ride with this old man who was really sweet and looked like ray buriel and always let me on the bus first. i wonder if he misses me.
august 21, 2006
Dear Diary:
It was one of the hottest days of the summer, with the thermometer approaching the 100-degree mark. I was grateful to be in a cool city bus with my daughter, traveling down Fifth Avenue from 80th Street.
The bus was getting more crowded, with a number of people standing.
At one stop, right after a very pregnant woman came aboard, the driver made the following announcement:
“If someone does not get up and give this woman a seat by the next stop, I will turn off the air-conditioning.”
Someone immediately got up and offered this most appreciative woman her seat.
Arlene Newman
It was one of the hottest days of the summer, with the thermometer approaching the 100-degree mark. I was grateful to be in a cool city bus with my daughter, traveling down Fifth Avenue from 80th Street.
The bus was getting more crowded, with a number of people standing.
At one stop, right after a very pregnant woman came aboard, the driver made the following announcement:
“If someone does not get up and give this woman a seat by the next stop, I will turn off the air-conditioning.”
Someone immediately got up and offered this most appreciative woman her seat.
Arlene Newman
july 20, 2006
Question Reference #060720-000060
------------------------------Subject: fabulous b69 bus driver!
MTA Service: NYC Transit Buses
Category: Commendation
Location of Event
---------------------------------------------------------------
8th avenue & 6th street, park slope, brooklyn
Discussion Thread
---------------------------------------------------------------
Customer (bruns) - 07/20/2006 11:56 AM
just wanted to pay a compliment to my bus driver last night on the b69. she saw me running to catch the bus and graciously waited a little bit longer for me to catch up and get on. muuuuch appreciated when you consider that the b69 only comes approximately once every never.
thanks so much!!
-bruns
------------------------------
MTA Service: NYC Transit Buses
Category: Commendation
Location of Event
------------------------------
8th avenue & 6th street, park slope, brooklyn
Discussion Thread
------------------------------
Customer (bruns) - 07/20/2006 11:56 AM
just wanted to pay a compliment to my bus driver last night on the b69. she saw me running to catch the bus and graciously waited a little bit longer for me to catch up and get on. muuuuch appreciated when you consider that the b69 only comes approximately once every never.
thanks so much!!
-bruns
july 10, 2006
i found out where all the cute boys are in my neighborhood. on the bus at 8am. woowee! finally!
july 7, 2006
so this morning this girl on the bus was explaining to another girl the logic behind why she dresses like shit to the office. at one point, she utters the best line ever: "i don't know why they get all dressed up, they look like a box of bobos."
what the hell does that even mean? i googled "box of bobos" and got nothin'.
june 17, 2006
man on bus: "why are you sleeping?"
me: "because i'm tired"
man: "why are you tired?"
me: "because it's 5 am"
man: "but you are 5 times beauuuutiful, and you are 5 times preeeeetty, and you are 5 times amaaaaazing, and you are 5 times sexxxxy . . ." slurred and ad nauseum.
me in my head: "and you are 5 times craaaaaazy"
me: "because i'm tired"
man: "why are you tired?"
me: "because it's 5 am"
man: "but you are 5 times beauuuutiful, and you are 5 times preeeeetty, and you are 5 times amaaaaazing, and you are 5 times sexxxxy . . ." slurred and ad nauseum.
me in my head: "and you are 5 times craaaaaazy"
july 6, 2006
so this morning i missed the bus and i was kind of bummed because i was late for work (obvs). the next bus comes about 5 minutes later and as the doors open i hear, "THIS BUS IS DOOOOOWNTOOOOOWN BROOOOOOKLYN BOOOOOUND!" (eee! favorite bus driver!!!) but then he adds a new line, "pleeeeeeease watch yoooooour step! as you're getting on!! and off!! the bus." and he just plays it over and over and over every time he opens the doors.
later, someone forgot to hit the tape and was yelling "back door, back door!!" as we passed the stop. the bus driver stopped at the next stop and gave a little public service announcement that was like, "when preparing to exit the bus, please make sure to apply pressure to the tape to activate the 'stop requested' light." then he added, "i am not a mind reader today." TODAY? maybe he's a mind reader SOME days! i hope i get him again.
later, someone forgot to hit the tape and was yelling "back door, back door!!" as we passed the stop. the bus driver stopped at the next stop and gave a little public service announcement that was like, "when preparing to exit the bus, please make sure to apply pressure to the tape to activate the 'stop requested' light." then he added, "i am not a mind reader today." TODAY? maybe he's a mind reader SOME days! i hope i get him again.
february 10, 2006
not a bus story, but...
some dude just peed in front of me on the escalator coming out of the subway!!!!!!!!!!!11
some dude just peed in front of me on the escalator coming out of the subway!!!!!!!!!!!11
february 9, 2006
i got in a fight with a crazy lady on the bus today. okay, maybe fight is an exaggeration. she basically yelled at me and i had lamesauce comebacks.
crazy lady: "you're what's wrong with the bus!"then she spouted off about "bus education" and how i don't know how to ride a bus. "this is how it works" and "you don't know what you're doing." so my response was to stand there sheepishly. awesome.
me: "i'm the reason???"
crazy lady: "yeah, you're one of the them"
november 5, 2005
so i moved this weekend and have been trying out new commutes to work each morning. so far, so not very good. monday went okay, with each of my THREE transfers going rather smoothly. tuesday was terrible, as i learned that the c train conductor doesn't always hold to the common courtesy rule of waiting for the g train folks to cross the 16 foot platform. and today was the worst, thinking that the bus might be my ticket.
so i thought i would walk a few short blocks west, pick up some coffee at my favorite coffeehouse, and then catch the bus across the street to the metrostation at dekalb and flatbush (where like 95 trains converge or something). the first b38 comes rolling down the street and doesn't stop. too many people. the second b38 comes and i manage to squeeze myself on with this cute boy swiping my metrocard because i can't even reach. so, i'm basically standing at the front window of the bus because i have little choice and we start going. the bus stops a few blocks later, and as the door opens, i try to move away. but alas, FAILURE! my foot gets stuck, and while my foot hurts, i'm really more concerned about the state of my new bcbg's.
so people are taking forever to get off the damn bus and i'm in the way and the busdriver is yelling at me but i can't move because my foot's twisted in a way it should never go and cute boy intercedes on my behalf and gets the driver to close the door and my foot's released and then i totally feel like the quintessential out-of-towner just transplanted to the big city that she can't even handle because she's from brush prairie, washington. ugh. and i spilled coffee down my white blouse, too.
and then we start moving again and cute boy accidentally steps back on the tip of my shoe and profusely apologizes and i laugh maniacally because HELLO! my shoe was just crushed by a million pounds of pressure and then we laugh together and it's nice.
and so you might think the day has gone to shit, but you'd be wrong because at work i was looking up this law firm and somehow seeing "staff photos courtesy of nickelodeon" and "it all came down to something he learned from his parents and spiderman" and "the shark-infested waters of underdog litigation" managed to make everything okay again. i guess.
so i thought i would walk a few short blocks west, pick up some coffee at my favorite coffeehouse, and then catch the bus across the street to the metrostation at dekalb and flatbush (where like 95 trains converge or something). the first b38 comes rolling down the street and doesn't stop. too many people. the second b38 comes and i manage to squeeze myself on with this cute boy swiping my metrocard because i can't even reach. so, i'm basically standing at the front window of the bus because i have little choice and we start going. the bus stops a few blocks later, and as the door opens, i try to move away. but alas, FAILURE! my foot gets stuck, and while my foot hurts, i'm really more concerned about the state of my new bcbg's.
so people are taking forever to get off the damn bus and i'm in the way and the busdriver is yelling at me but i can't move because my foot's twisted in a way it should never go and cute boy intercedes on my behalf and gets the driver to close the door and my foot's released and then i totally feel like the quintessential out-of-towner just transplanted to the big city that she can't even handle because she's from brush prairie, washington. ugh. and i spilled coffee down my white blouse, too.
and then we start moving again and cute boy accidentally steps back on the tip of my shoe and profusely apologizes and i laugh maniacally because HELLO! my shoe was just crushed by a million pounds of pressure and then we laugh together and it's nice.
and so you might think the day has gone to shit, but you'd be wrong because at work i was looking up this law firm and somehow seeing "staff photos courtesy of nickelodeon" and "it all came down to something he learned from his parents and spiderman" and "the shark-infested waters of underdog litigation" managed to make everything okay again. i guess.
march 19, 2005
i take the metrolink into la at least once a week for my internship and my struggles with punctuality have never been more evident. for instance, on thursday i could hear the train coming and had to book it in my little black heels across the street and down the platform to the little ticket kiosk that wasn't having any of it. needless to say, it was traumatizing, but fortunately i made the train.
an hour later, a guy passed me on his way to the red line, tapped me on the shoulder, and handed me a yellow piece of paper folded in half:
an hour later, a guy passed me on his way to the red line, tapped me on the shoulder, and handed me a yellow piece of paper folded in half:
(not a bus story, but don't you think it fits here anyway?)
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